Tuesday, September 30, 2014


I'm trying to refrain from the drama, but let's be real, the end of summer means turning down the dial of life a little bit. "Don't you just love fall?" they'll ask. And I do. I love the cobalt blue skies and crisp air, the colored leaves and harvest of autumnal vegetables. And best of all, the apples. There are things I'm excited about, believe you me. But also, there are less hours of daylight to work with, the cold air seeps into my bones and never leaves, my skin shrivels, and each trip out the door means a whole production of gathering up socks and jackets.

Last week, fall arrived, not with trumpeting skies, but with the grey skies and rain. I was under-dressed for such weather, couldn't get warm, my skin got dry like the desert, my hair got static-y and I couldn't settle into my skin.  (Yes, I realize I'm complaining about how it's getting slightly colder, and it's terribly silly, but I'm writing my feelings and trying to climb up a hill of optimism. Here it comes...)

What to do? There are remedies for rainy days (on a side note, I was texting with my sister that day and she was saying how she loves a good ol' grey and rainy day...so........there's some perspective for you), and I'm good at self-medicating.  I'll make a ceremony and celebration out of the small things when I want to connect. And I'll curl up on the couch under a blanket, with a book, in order to feel quiet.

Here are some tiny-sized stories about connecting:


That same rainy night, I went over to a friend's in the evening for a nightcap of sorts. We made coffee bourbon cocktails (which is my favorite right now) and snacked on potatoes fried in duck fat, smoked salmon, brie and sauteed greens. We sipped and ate with our fingers. We discussed hope. By the time I left, it was late, and it had stopped raining. The brisk air was positively refreshing. It'll be okay! I reassured all of my faculties.


Since then, there have been warm days (Thursday was sunny, and we went to the State Fair on the following Saturday, which had us sweating, gloriously, all day long), but I've felt the need to carry on with filling these innards with comfort food, and have pep talks about the end and beginning of things. On this particular Friday night, when it was just me and Soane for dinner, I cooked up shakshuka, a Middle Eastern dish that is eggs poached in tomatoes and loaded with spices. We sopped it up with baked pita chips, and spoonfuls of avocado in the intermissions.  It went down like a hug.


Since it gets darker sooner, Sloane has been getting more glimpses of the moon, and she has been a darling child of the moon. As we are driving, she'll shout out to me that she has spotted it, and then gasp when it disappears from sight. "It's gone!.....Is it on top of the car?" And when it reappears, "I catch it mom!" with her hands outreached towards the sky. She grabs a fistful of air and tucks her fist back into her chest. "I have it!"


And lastly, here is the story of the night we sat around a fire. It starts with a friend from afar being in town, and a bunch of ladies wanting to spend time with her. We scurried into the house she was staying at, with cocktails, wine and snacks in hand. An impromptu fire was made in the backyard and we went out to it (moths to a flame! Do we all know the Janet Jackson song? Is it playing in our heads?). We spent the rest of the night sitting around a beautiful fire, draining our cups, discussing things like babies, art, and what a good day looks like - all while staring into the flames.  The flames, the wine, and the presence of friends, warmed up everything. 

1 comment:

  1. and the bourbon coffee cocktails gave me all sorts of weird dreams. that was a great night. lets do it again soon