Monday, August 25, 2014


Sometimes I flex all the muscles in my brain and try imagine what it's like for Sloane to be experiencing things for the first time. Small things but also big things, like the way rain falls from the sky and how there are creatures around us that are so different and how we are beings that can jump into a body of water and how we are creatures that can experience and express enjoyment. Sometimes I can quantify all that with a simple "wow" but when I wade deep into the wonder that is discovery of this world we love in, and it blows my mind wide open. 

The first time we went to a pool, she was all, "hold up...what..." By the second time, she was really into it. (And she was even more into her first trip to the river; she talked about that for days.) When she saw me packing her swimming suit for this trip, she got super excited and kept asking me when she was going to be putting it on. (Unfortunately, I forgot to pack a swimsuit for myself so I just committed myself to taking a ton of photos. What else is new?) The pool at this hotel we were at was glorious and big and there was a baby pool that was shallow and slopey and had little fountains coming off of it. We all maybe had more fun in the baby pool than in the big kid's pool!

My parents left this morning to go back to Korea and no matter how many times it happens, I feel their absence like a pang. I'm already counting the months until I can see them again. They had to wake up early to catch their flight so I woke up, too, to say goodbye, and stayed awake after they were gone. The sun hadn't quite come up yet I let the quiet wash over me.  Dawn has a hush that reminds me of the hush that goes over a crowd right before the curtain goes up for a play or a concert.  On my way back from the airport, I was captivated by the hush and then the swell of the sky opening up; a sky that was turning into the inside of a seashell, iridescent, smooth and shiny.

Even though I was a night owl in high school, I learned in college that if I committed myself, I could wake up early in the mornings and that I actually loved it. I also love sleeping in, but there is something secret and thrilling about being awake when no one else is, when the sun is rising and the air is new. If I have slept early enough,  these moments before the day starts can be productive, and it allows me to sort my mind and get it situated for the day to come. During these busy days, I've often thought about how I can implement this again in my life. I am more eager than ever to get extra time for reading and writing in, and carving out the time before my daughter wakes up and I have to start getting us all ready seems to be the only way to make it happen for me. 

This is an aspiration. Now whether I can implement it will be a whole other matter, but maybe I'll start by trying it one morning a week. You'll probably hear about this more if it is a success, but for now, I am mid-day, in the thick of it, and about to share some photos of a pool baby. You're welcome!

1 comment:

  1. what a beautiful post. i always look forward to the annual kim clan gathering recap (have i said this before)
    love that sloane is a water baby like you both :)