Wednesday, December 10, 2008

art smear

Inspired by T.Rod.'s blog of art goodness, i decided i will start posting up my photos and art up here too. yay blogger yay. Here are a series of photos i took with a kodak hq disposable last summer.

Friday, December 5, 2008

it sucks when its the weekend and it doesn't feel like it

check out this new idea to use recyclable paper bottles instead of plastic ones. i think it could work if people caught on.

being annoyed and restless
are not good attitudes to have while trying to finish a paper;
plus i feel a little trapped.
but i got myself a pink cupcake and omg cookie to cheer myself up.
i will try to be jolly, but still,
winter kind of sucks.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

modcloth, ya'll

i love everything from this place;
i'd like the entire collection transferred into my wardrobe please.

perusing sites like this, looking through fugly, and upping my gchat usage is what usually happens when i get truly slammed with work. cause i like to mix it up. but i am seriously hurting from last night's attempt to stay up all night. suffer for 30 more hours, or ask for an extension? dilemma.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Sunday, November 30, 2008

thanksgiving was four days ago

i spent the past five days with k.'s family for thanksgiving. that is a lot of days...

for some reason i decided to pretend that i was in some unreachable alternate universe. actually, it wasn't so much of a choice as the inevitable sum of a dead phone, k's family time, and copious hours of sleep.

i didn't slice out a designated time to squeeze out a reflection on what i am grateful for, but i did eat the obligatory turkey, stuffing, green beans, yam and corn, and i liked it. I don't feel the need to force myself to make up new things to be thankful about just because of the holiday. i am grateful and thankful for everything. there is not a thing in my life, a bone in my body, nor a thought in my head that i take for granted. i am so so thankful. my heart swells with so much of it that it will probably burst any day now.

yes. i am full of thanks for the ordinary, and I am glad that I have the ability to react to ordinary life with gratitude. but, sometimes, i think i will suffocate from the stillness. it is more popular to be blind, quiet, and still? apathy is the new anarchy? taking the road well-traveled means growing up? wait, what does it mean to sacrifice? a resounding slap is necessary once in a while, no? eh? i would like a daily slap. well, it doesn't necessarily have to be a slap; it just has to be anything that teaches me how to trust God more.

without the kind of hope that comes from knowing God, there really would be no point in living. life would be vapid.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


why is it not summer.

i am so tempted to do another study abroad.
probably australia, italy, or s. america.
also, i miss new york city.
i miss my sisters.

why do we have to follow so many rules?!
why are there so many boring people? !!!!

Monday, November 3, 2008

sad story

it is so tragic!
that both of montreal and conor oberst are coming into town,
and i can't make it to the shows.

Monday, October 27, 2008

balancing beam

the older that i get, the more often i have the "what is the point?" moments, and the response to this question always has to do something with the ability to balance.

i suppose this is what keeps me in the game.

but to remember: balance must not be confused with mediocrity.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

pie in the sky

what a lovely photo
i didn't take this photo.
i haven't developed any pictures from my smena 8m, but i will soon.
i wish i had a dark room.

i am in a werid funk b/c i want to sleep all the time.
the first month of this semester was easy breezy;
and now its still breezy
but a slow breeze.
uh oh. i am starting to feel antsy again.

the best thing about my day recently
is eating the delicious apples that we picked
from a real-life apple orchard this past weekend.
they are so so delicious.
i eat 4-5 apples a day.
i will probably turn into an apple.

oh! also, yesterday
we went to the landmark theatre
to see david sedaris.
if i were to have a crush on a gay man,
it would be probably be him.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

i wish i was taller

i did it.
i bought shiny black tights.
imagine my surprise when i put them on and found them to be uber comfy.

the possibilities are endless.
let's see what i can do with this bad boy.

you know what would really help though...if i was taller.

things i'm interested in right now:
1) "northern songs" album of canadian musicians/bands compiled by starbucks
2) yashica TRL 124G
3) stewie, from family guy

Monday, September 22, 2008

mental health day

I took a mental health day today. Meaning, i did a little of everything. Or a little bit of nothing; however you want to put it. I needed some cave-time.
This means I watched a lot of pointless tv, pulled out my guitar to play, did some research (not enough), drank fresca, scoured the internet, made cookies, and did some slow work on my essays.

Also! It was truly exciting when my Smena 8M camera came. I love the little pouch it came in. The Russsian manual wasn't too exciting though because I couldn't understand a lick of it. So i had to look up some sort of English version and fool around with the functions. I left the apartment to take a walk around the neighborhood to try out the new camera (and pick up some chinese take-out), and was pleased at the wonderful weather which provided good shadows and sun rays. Yay. We'll see how this first film turns out.

1) i emailed the worthless booksellers who still haven't responded btw about giving me a refund on their regengade textbooks. (argh!) And i also shamelessly watched gossip girls.

2) Even though it is time-consuming and frustrating at times, I love writing. I would give my left pinky toe to be a writer for the NYtimes.

3) I really hope I feel better about facing the real world tomorrow because I have a lot to do. The feeling right now though is that I could do this cave woman thing all week.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

things about modern techonology that i really appreciate

1. Trash disposal in my kitchen sink

2. Clorox wipes
3. Google
4. Youtube
5. Toliet

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Monday, September 1, 2008

albums i love a lot these days

"Open Season", Feist
"Conan Oberst", Conan Oberst
"Late Night Tales", Belle & Sebstian
"Re-Arrange Us", Mates of State
"One Cell in the Sea", A Fine Frenzy

Thursday, August 28, 2008

serpent and doves

I usually have a hard time listening or watching to political candidates make their speeches because it always seems to reek with condescending hypocrisy and overly-prepared sincerity. I prefer to get my fix from news commentaries or get the quick summaries on the speeches to get the gist of what was said, mostly to avoid the drama altogether. I guess that's indicative of how cynical i've gotten about change, and i've started noticing it more recently.

The other day, I was listening to NPR's segment which went through an archive of the speeches of past Vice Presidents, and one of the more memorable ones was by Truman's VP, Barkley. I couldnt' help but compare the differences between the present and past era; maybe it was the quality of the scratchy recording or the way that NPR spins these things, but I was genuinely touched by the sincerity of tone and most notably, the hope, of this particular pseech. The man sounded like he really believed in what he's saying for a better tomorrow. The contrast was even more evident because in the present day, my worldview is tainted by a veil of doubt about the sincerity of anyone, particularly politicians.

This morning, with Barkley's speech in mind, I read the transcripts of Biden and Bill Clinton's speeches for the DNC, and although initially I grimaced through a lot of the shiny veneer, reading instead of listening to the speeches helped me to read between the lines, and I found it refreshing. Ultimately, I couldn't help but appreciate the collection of arguments that they had prepared for why Obama should be the next president. Most of these arguments revovle around hope, banking on the fact that people want change and more importantly, want to believe in change. I am really not one to make character judgments and say whether someone is insincere, but that kind of judgment call matters much less than the actual initiative for change. The important thing to notice here is that there is discussion of any kind of hope at all.

It's not as if I've lived too many years as a cynic but I feel as if maybe I should actively work on developing my world-view with a grain of sugar, as well as salt. Cynicism comes about as a reaction, and maybe a necessary one, but I haven't noticed any positive effects or fruits from doubting and second-guessing everything. The natural consequence of apathy is more apathy and ultimately, the apathetic person loses out. It takes an extra effort to use discernment and make a conscious choice to be a person who actively hopes, but the change (and the process of change) is worth the effort. Obviously I'm not advocating ignorance or hippie love, but I am saying that the adage, "wise as serpents and innocent as doves" makes a lot of sense as a foundation for developing an outlook on the world. If this serpent and dove thing is managed with a sense of balance, faith, and sense of humor, this whole growing up thing might not be so bad.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

f-bomb to mean people

boo to all mean and unhappy people who are too lazy to make any sort of effort beyond their tiny-brained world

Friday, August 8, 2008

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

countdown: two days

gah i feel like a crazy person.!
my room looks like an homage to the crazy gods!

it always seems to happen that i have the most brilliant ideas and zings of creativity in the moments right before a pending exam or deadline. Its not too effective for time management, but it does somehow work itself out in an unexpected balance of inspiration and stability.

i love woostercollective!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

a philosophy of photography

By taking a picture, the photographer usually does so with the intention of showing and telling.
In this way, the photo taker is selfish, taking what she wants.

I probably take pictures to remember; its bonkers to experience all the feelings and memories an old picture can evoke.

But also: truly living a life is done BEST when life is appreciated, mostly accomplished through the heightened awareness of one's presence and reaction to everything that comes. By taking a picture and showing it, my telling is that of holding still a moment in time to allow the viewer some objectivity to take a step back and recognize it as a meaningful slice of life. And by way of the viewer reacting to that moment in life, the hope is that she can better engage in appreciation of living a life.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

secret billboards

Life doesn't work if you don't know who you are.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

mid-afternoon crowd

gosh, i miss k.

golly, i wish they were here.

Monday, July 28, 2008


the last 5 books i read:
1. mrs. dalloway - virginia woolf
2. the day of the jackal - frederick forsyth
3. raven black - anne cleeves
4. the queen's fool - philippa gregory
5. good in bed - jennifer weiner

the next 5 books i want to read:
1. the book of the dunn cow - walter wangerin
2. c.s. lewis' space trilogy
3. when you are engulfed in flames - david sedaris

Sunday, July 27, 2008

wine and cigars in the park

birthday pleasantries

We went to the nearby park yesterday to hurrah the gorgeous weather, and I can't think of a better way I would have wanted to celebrate my birthday here. I adore the parks here because everyone makes such good use of them; i.e. plenty of sporadic and spontaneous plopping down and rolling around on the grass, essential for park-grazing. We did our share of plopping down and rolling about, using our curtains and R.'s Hawaiian bedsheets as a picnic blanket, which worked out better than anticipated (minus one tiny incident...).

And I had a birthday cake! with firecrackers, and a renegade group of kids passing through the area singing me 'Happy Birthday', very loudly. We smoked cigars with our shiraz and chocolate, and had long and lagging conversations about films, religion and song lyrics until it got dark.

So now to further commemorate my 25th year of surviving on this planet, i decided to write up The List of things I hope to accomplish within this next year:

1. Learn how to play ukulele.
2. Get good grades for my 2L year.
3. Learn how to paint with oils.

It should make for an interesting year...i'm glad it's here.
25, here i come!

a fine frenzy

i have the biggest girl-crush on alison sudol, a.k.a. a fine frenzy.

she has the most tremendous but subtle voice, her performances are spot-on, and she is ga-ga-gorgeous. c'mon now.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

handmade postcards

a quasi-grown up blog

Due to the fact that everytime i try to sign in to xanga they demand cookies, I'm moving to blogger.

Cookies, goodness.